Jada Pinkett-Smith – Take care of YOU, first

A message to Mothers and Wives. Food for thought….

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Jada Pinkett opens up on her Facebook page

Jada Pinkett opens up on her Facebook page

Jada Pinkett Smith has turned her Facebook page into a philosophical open diary and as she celebrated her 42nd birthday last Wednesday she reflected on who she is and where she is now.

Yesterday she posted a lengthy Facebook status that revealed she fought several addictions when she was younger, but she failed to go into detail about what those addictions were.

She also claims that her problem with addiction stemmed from her inability to deal with the problems that life threw her way.

“What I learned about myself is this, when I was younger I was not a good problem solver, meaning I had a very difficult time with dealing with my problems in life,” she wrote. “I had many addictions, of several kinds, to deal with my life issues, but today, at 42, I have my wisdom, my heart and my conscience as the only tools to overcome life’s inevitable obstacles.”

She said she is proud of herself for finally reaching a point where she can tackle life’s obstacles without struggling with addiction.

“I have become a good problem solver with these tools, and I am damn proud,” she added, thanking her fans for their birthday wishes. “Thank you for all the love that was given to me for my birthday this year. What I hope is that we all continue to gain healthy understanding that life is really about solving problems and also about us learning to become masters at solving them.”

She certainly has faced quite a few obstacles lately after reports of her open marriage caught wind, in addition to several cheating scandals, divorce rumors and accusations of being a bad parent.

In the midst of all the gossip chaos, Jada has insisted that divorce was never a part of the plan for her and husband Will Smith. In fact, she even begged a friend of hers to reconsider divorce.

The star took to her Facebook page once again to talk to her fans about divorce and how it should be avoided at all costs.

Smith claimed that there were times when our “elders” faced drastic decisions in tough times but they took a step back from their relationship.

“Consider taking the route that some of our elders have taken in giving your marriage some space and time before the drastic decision of divorce,” she wrote in the Facebook status. “Answers to big questions need time to find lasting trust vs. the truth of the moment. After this process the answer may be the same, but at least you have the clarity to go about it all with certainty and integrity, but you may also find that spark that could save and rekindle your marriage.”

The lengthy status almost makes you wonder if Jada had to give her marriage with Will “some space and time.” That would certainly explain why the couple feels the need to own so many homes in different locations.

Her Open Marriage Comments: “Do we believe loving someone means owning them?”

Rumors have been swirling for a very long time about the Hollywood power couple being in an open marriage and recently the rumors were fueled by comments that Mrs. Smith made in an interview. Among other things, the mother of two said, “Will can do whatever he wants” and because there was always a question mark hanging over the couple about whether or not their marriage was an open marriage, that seemed to just re-ignite the rumor flames.

The flames became such a wild fire that now Jada has decided that she needs to clarify what she was saying by making a statement on Facebook.  Although, please be warned, her “clarification” really does not answer the still looming question of whether or not her and her husband are in an open marriage. Her comments are below.

Jada Pinkett Smith:
Open marriage?

Let me first say this, there are far more important things to talk about in regards to what is happening in the world than whether I have an open marriage or not. I am addressing this issue because a very important subject has been born from discussions about my statement that may be worthy of addressing.

The statement I made in regard to, “Will can do whatever he wants,” has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist.

Do we believe loving someone means owning them? Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should “behave”? Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of “you better act right or else” keep one honest and true? Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor live by the integrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate as enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE?

Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???

Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.